Individual Relationship Counseling

Do you find yourself feeling insecure, anxious, or frustrated in your relationships? Do you struggle to effectively communicate your needs? Do you feel stuck in an unhelpful pattern with dating, committed relationships, family, or friendships?

Humans are social. We are hardwired to seek out relationships, yet we’re rarely taught how to intentionally nurture them or when to leave them. We tend to rely on the scripts we developed early on. These default ways of interacting with others have often served us well in our past, or in some of our relationships, but can be detrimental in our current relationships. That’s where relationship counseling comes in. Relationship counseling combines attachment based therapy and interpersonal approaches to help you break free from patterns that may be holding you back—so you can cultivate love, trust, and connection.

Difficulty with forming and maintaining healthy relationships often results from how we have learned to react to people in our lives. In therapy we will explore your past relationships and how they influence your current relationship patterns.

Relationship Counseling FAQs

    • The impact of early relationships on your current relationships

    • ​Your relationship history, especially relationships you believe are unhealthy

    • Noticing old negative relationship behaviors in your new relationship

    • How you prefer to give and receive love and support

    • How to set boundaries

    • How to end a relationship

    • Difficulty communicating with your partner

    • ​Fear of rejection

    • ​Fear of abandonment 

    • Sex, desire, intimacy

    • Low self-esteem

    • Emotional vulnerability

    • Modern dating 

    • Creating closeness too quickly or becoming deeply attached to someone you just met may indicate an unhealthy attachment style

    • You are unable to be emotionally open and vulnerable with your partner or other close relationships

    • Your fear of rejection is so powerful that you avoid seeking out relationships or struggle to create closeness in the relationships you do have

    • You are unable to say no or set boundaries or you find yourself constantly putting others needs above yours

    • Relationships that once felt vibrant and joyful now feel burdensome or obligatory

    • You struggle to communicate your needs without becoming emotional

    • You desire closeness but find yourself pulling away

    • Your relationships are characterized by extremes or you find that the way you feel about close others in your life oscillates between love/closeness and hate/feelings of disconnection or abandonment

    • You feel lonely even when you are in the company of your partner or close others in your life

    • You realize you tend to feel better when those you consider yourself closest with are absent

  • Anxious attachment may occur when our earliest relationships are inconsistent. A lack of consistent expectations, reliability, and behaviors from our caregivers can cause us to expect rejection, abandonment, or judgement. Those with anxious attachment styles tend to feel insecure in their relationships, and often seek validation and reassurance that they or the relationship are in good standing. They are often people pleasers and tend to sacrifice their own needs in order to please the other person. They may be afraid to express their own needs becuase they fear that will led to rejection or abandonment. An anxious attachment style can led to overcompensation in adult relationships and relationship burnout. It can also leave someone feeling unheard or under appreciated if they struggle to communicate their needs.

  • People with an avoidant attachment style tend to feel uncomfortable when others get too close and may find themselves creating distance, pushing away, or not feeling as much attraction to a partner if the relationship becomes a committed one. Someone with avoidant attachment may feel overwhelmed or suffocated when they are asked to provide a high level of support, modify their own behavior, or commit to deepening a relationship. These individuals often appear emotionally distant and highly independent. They tend to find close involvement and emotional vulnerability anxiety provoking or uncomfortable. Someone with this style may retreat into work or other hobbies to self-soothe.

  • No, Desert to Peaks does not provide couples counseling at this time. If during the course of our work, we decide couples counseling would be beneficial, we will assist you in connecting with a couples therapist.